Smile...it may be a rough September

How to use iPad
1) Remove iPad from packaging. Emit long "Oooooohhhh".
2) Turn iPad on and show it to others. All say "Oooooohhhh".
3) Put iPad down and get back to work.
4) When new person comes, repeat step 2-3 ad infinitum.
5) When everyone has seen iPad, put it in cupboard.

Things you can't do with iPad
1) Make phone calls
2) Make carrier pigeon calls
3) Get a girlfriend
4) Fit it in any pocket currently made by clothing manufacturers around the world

Things you can do with iPad
1) Toss it in your Crumpler bag as you ride your Vespa to a local café to meet your graphic designer/actor friends. Show them your latest short film which is totally going to get into Sundance and finally let you escape from your job in advertising.
2) Watch TV and surf the web when trapped under a heavy object and unable to get to your iPhone or TV.
3) TBA

Frequently Asked Questions
1) Why is it so big?
So many of our customers have told us that they love the portability of iPhone but that whenever they use it to watch video or play games they can't actually see anything. That's why we made iPad.
2) Why is it so small?
So many of our customers have told us that they love the clarity and sharpness of AppleTV but that they can't carry it around in a really really big pocket. That's why we made iPad.
3) But what if there aren't videos and applications that are too big for iPhone and too small for AppleTV?
So many of our customers will buy anything that Apple makes, even if they don't need it. That's why we made iPad.
4) Am I a nerd?
No, you are a wanker. Nerds still use PCs because they like to use Linux.
5) Can I call Apple a bunch of greedy c%$*s in an iPhone app?
No you can't, our system will automatically replace your letters with %$*.
6) Is Steve Jobs the Antichrist?
No, the Antichrist owns shares in Microsoft and cannot work for us due to a conflict of interest.
7) Is this question 7?
Yes.
8) Can I read books on iPad?
In theory yes, but most people who are tech-savvy enough to use iPad no longer read books.
9) Can I make calls on iPad?
No, iPad is like an iPhone, but it can't make calls. So it is like having an iPhone with Optus.
10) So it's just like iPod touch?
No, it's bigger in two ways - size and price.
11) Do people frequently ask you "Is this question 7"?
No.

(Source: click here)